Aku Memang Belum Sehebat Ibu, Namun Diriku Tak Pernah Patah Semangat Memberikan yang Terbaik Untukmu, Bu…

Hai Bu, apa kabar?

Sudah lama diriku tak bersua denganmu. Kesibukkan saat ini yang telah menyita waktuku sukses membuat jarak di antara kita. Tak aku sangka sebenarnya, karena aktivitas yang sehari-hari dilakukan akan berakibat seperti ini. Dirimu dan aku jadi jarang bertemu, bahkan bertegur sapa pun demikian halnya.

Setiap saat tak bosan aku selipkan doa untukmu dan diriku. Berbagai kesalahan dan kekurangan yang ada dalam diri ini menjadi kekuatanku untuk mendoakanmu. Aku tahu Tuhan selalu mendengarkan hamba-Nya, maka tak pernah aku lupa untuk menyebut apapun itu tentang kita.

Apa yang sekarang aku lakukan untukmu kenyataannya memang belum mampu menyaingi pemberianmu. Segala keikhlasan dari hati dan upaya membesarkanku hingga sekarang tak akan pernah dapat terbalas. Namun, aku tak pernah bosan berupaya melakukan yang terbaik untukmu. Segala rasa kesal dalam hati dan malas pun aku coba lewati. Karena diriku tahu bahwa apa yang aku lakukan ini belum seberapa.

Sadar bahwa tak mungkin aku ada di dunia ini tanpamu. Sebisanya, aku akan berusaha menuruti apa yang kamu mau.

aku menurutimu, Bu

aku menurutimu, Bu via www.leadingage.org

Aku terlahir ke dunia karena dirimu, Bu. Kamu telah berjuang melawan sakitnya proses persalinan dan itu membuktikan bahwa kaulah segalanya. Kekuatan yang menyertaimu ini merupakan anugerah Tuhan dengan upayamu untuk melahirkanku. Aku tak akan pernah bisa membayangkan seperti apa perjuanganmu saat itu.

Aku sadar bahwa tak akan pernah bisa menyamai kegigihanmu demi diriku. Aku pun berusaha untuk menuruti apa yang kamu mau. Meski kadang tak sesuai dengan keinginan sendiri, tapi aku pun mengalah dan mencoba menerima pilihanmu. Memang kemauanmu jauh dari keinginan diri ini, tapi ketika itu terjadi aku berupaya memikirkan jalan keluarnya. Ada cara-cara sehalus mungkin yang aku lakukan, guna menyelaraskan perbedaan ini. Semoga kesepakatan nanti adalah yang terbaik untuk kita bersama.

Sesekali malas menuruti perintahmu mungkin hal yang biasa. Tapi sekuat tenaga, aku berupaya agar tak membuatmu kecewa.

aku mengikuti apa maumu, Bu

aku mengikuti apa maumu, Bu via www.gaze.ie

Jujur, saat menerima segala perintah dan pernyataanmu seringkali memunculkan keluhan dalam hati. Keluhan tersebut kadang hanya sesaat, tapi mampu membuatku kesal setengah mati. Namun aku sadar, bahwa apa yang membuncah dalam hati ini tak pantas bersarang.

Ya, karena itu berarti aku tak tahu malu dengan apa yang selama ini dimiliki. Hidup berkecukupan hingga aku bisa seperti sekarangtak lain karena dirimu, Bu. Aku yang tumbuh dewasa, matang, dan mandiri ini tak pernah lepas dari jasa-jasamu.

Pada akhirnya keluhan ini aku telan dan singkirkan secara perlahan. Agar aku dapat memahami dirimu lebih jauh dan tak membuatmu kecewa. Aku harap kamu selalu bahagia dan senyuman indah senantiasa mengiringi kebersamaan kita.

Mengemban amanahmu memang bukan hal yang mudah. Tapi, aku tak putus asa karena inilah caraku membalas segala yang kau berikan padaku tanpa kenal lelah.

rasa kesal itu ada, tapi aku berusaha singkirkan

rasa kesal itu ada, tapi aku berusaha singkirkan via www.pinterest.com

Sebagai orangtua, dirimu selalu menginginkan yang terbaik untukku. Beragam amanah kau berikan kepadaku untuk mengembannya dan belajar bertanggung jawab. Berat rasanya, karena amanah tersebut langsung diberikan darimu kepadaku. Aku yang dulu masih sangat polos dan belum tahu apa-apa, mencoba mengerjakannya dengan sepenuh hati.

Kadang, aku merasa lelah dan putus asa dalam menjalaninya. Aku berusaha untuk melawan keputusaan tersebut demi memberikan yang terbaik untukmu. Hati dan pikiran ini sadar bahwa hal tersebut masih merupakan hal kecil yang hingga kini baru aku persembahkan kepadamu, Bu. Aku tak ada apa-apanya dibanding dirimu.

Apa yang aku lakukan ini mungkin belum seberapa jika dibanding dengan apa yang telah kau berikan. Namun, aku berjanji untuk mempersembahkan yang terbaik.

aku selalu berusaha memberikan yang terbaik, Bu

aku selalu berusaha memberikan yang terbaik, Bu via www.instagram.com

Aku memang belum bisa sehebat dirimu, yang telah banyak memakan asam dan garam kehidupan. Apa yang selama ini terjadi denganku, masih jauh sekali dengan yang kau alami. Ya, aku belum ada apa-apanya dengan dirimu. Tapi, aku hanya ingin mempersembahkan yang terbaik. Setiap kalimat sapa, masakan dan minuman buatanku, hingga karirku nanti dapat membuatmu selalu tersenyum. Tersenyum karena keceriaan yang aku lakukan untukmu, ibundaku yang cantik.

Bu, inilah aku. Anakmu yang mencintai dan menyayangimu sepenuh hati. Maaf jika rasa ini belum sehebat cinta dan kasih yang kau miliki.

semoga dirimu selalu tersenyum indah seperti ini ya, Bu

semoga dirimu selalu tersenyum indah seperti ini ya, Bu via www.bbc.com

Semua anak pernah khilaf. Ya, aku pun pernah melakukan kekesalahan padamu. Kesalahan yang disadari maupun tidak. Aku senang dengan caramu menegurku, karena aku tahu bahwa hal itu merupakan upayamu menyadarkanku.

Harus kuakui bahwa rasa kesal saat kamu memarahi cukup menjengkelkanku. Namun percayalah aku tetap mencintai dan menyayangimu sepenuh hati. Keluhan yang ada dihati, kekesalan yang pernah terucap, dan berbagai hal-hal negatif yang ada dalam diriku mohon dimaafkan.

Jangan bosan untuk mengingatkan dan membimbingku ya, Bu. Karena kau merupakan sosok yang tak tergantikan dan tak akan pernah sanggup aku balas jasa-jasamu. Aku selalu mencintai dan menyayangimu, Bu. Walau aku yakin perasaan ini belum sehebat seperti yang dimiliki olehmu.

Hai Bu! Terima kasih telah membacanya.

Maaf jika masih banyak yang belum tertulis. Begitu banyak yang ingin diutarakan, namun aku bingung mengungkapkannya dengan kata-kata. Memang benar kasih sayang dan cintamu tak akan pernah bisa diganti dengan apapun. Bahkan, untuk menceritakannya pun tak akan pernah bisa lengkap. Terima kasih telah menjadikanku seperti sekarang ini. Tanpamu, aku bukan apa-apa dan maaf tak bisa sehebatmu hingga kini. AKu mencintai dan menyayangimu, Bu.

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  7. hi i just want to know how can i advise my uncle he taking Atroiza and it seems like he doesnt care and i really want help him , he taking it late sometimes and drinking beer so i really help him but i dont much about how does this drug works

  8. Love the fern pic. Makes me feel there. Funny how you escaped the fog and I keep on priayng for it here. I’m dying to take some misty pics. Welcome back JJ, good to have ya!

  9. I was attending some sort of school. A large male lo was blocking the path thru the courtyard to the main building. When i reported this to the woman behind the glass she told me not to worry, he’s “weak”. I got angry with her and shouted for her to call security anyway. Just then, a bell rang and the courtyard filled with students. They all ignored the lion who was afraid, cowardly and scurried thru the crowds of kids looking for a way out. (I’ve been out of college since 1999)

  10. can an hiv positive person(men) with cd4 count of 534 who has a girl friend who is hiv negative make children.the viral load has been undetectable for some time.

  11. This is a giant mess. How are you supposed to put gooey brownie batter on top of liquid caramel? Plus a 9 inch square pan is way too small to hold the ingredients. I have caramel dripping all over my oven (yes, I’ve lined it because I knew this would happen). After the listed cooking time I’m starting to smell burnt caramel, yet the center of the brownie is still completely liquid. I have been baking for a long time and I’m really disappointed with this.

  12. Just found out that Im HIV positive last month and my cd4 is 292 doctor said I must start using the ARV and I had a miscargde in Feb so I did a papsmear results came back saying i have lites dots of cancer with infections but the doctor said the cancer can dissapear but its depending on my health Im scared to take the treatment will I be able to have kids again

  13. Добрый день. Я столкнулся с необходимостью переустановки операционной системы на своем компьютере, после чего активировать программу LINKOSCOP приобретенным ключом не получается. Каким образом можно активировать программу?

  14. In my dream I was in a big bus with military friends and we drove out of the gate of my old front paddock and then when we looked back and there was a grey flecked appaloosa horse coming towards the open gate. I got the bus turned around and we were racing back to close the gate. I raced out of the bus and tried to steady her, my friends watched in admiration, and then she whirled around took off and somehow seemed to run up a distant tree and be in the sky. My angels are talking to me through the

  15. No music should be playing on those screens. It should be transit related. Like they do on the CAT transit in Las Vegas. It shows a diagram with a all the stops thar are coming up displayed. It calls out points of interest. Everything related w the commuters route info.

  16. Sticking with my theory that the brutal winter left the female unable to produce a viable egg. The adults would be adoring and doting over a fledged juvenile and the last several months have shown no evidence of it. Basing this on my own observances, which spans 4 years now. This time of year the adult vulture will still regurgitate food and care for its fledgling, well into December.

  17. at ang mga amo mong si abigail at nancy, di na kailangan ng sobrang kembot kasi wala silang karapatan. ang papangit nila. ikaw ang dakilang tagapunas ng pwet ng mga binay. pwehhh.

  18. I dreamed that I was walking next to a beautiful, huge chestnut horse. As we were getting closer to the stables I saw a man hitting a horse, also a chestnut, the horse was on it’s hind legs trying to pull free. Then suddenly the horse lay down on it’s side. Blood was flowing from it’s side. I was shocked at what I saw and started running towards the stables, shouting at the man to stop and saw that there were 3 horse’s lying on their sides with blood streaming out the wounds. When I reached the horses I was relieved to see that they were stil alive and that I could still help them. Then I woke up.

  19. Keep up the good work guys, in keeping the art and the origins of animation alive! It’s important that we move with the times and appreciate how technology advances and enables evolution, but also we understand how we got there!

  20. captainhardshell, you seem to enjoy idolizing Brad Warner. I bet you don’t really live a fulfilling life outside of sitting endlessly on the cushion, huh? I bet you enjoy idolizing your sensei too.

  21. Just found out that Im HIV positive last month and my cd4 is 292 doctor said I must start using the ARV and I had a miscargde in Feb so I did a papsmear results came back saying i have lites dots of cancer with infections but the doctor said the cancer can dissapear but its depending on my health Im scared to take the treatment will I be able to have kids again

  22. I had a dream that I was a lion and was battling a wolf and there were a pack of wolves on the side just watching. the setting I believe looked like a desert with trees and rocks around from what I remember. and also the dream kinda looked matrix, 3d’ish. that’s the best way I can put it. does this symbolize anything? I wasn’t afraid or anything like that in the dream. I was calm but alert.

  23. Keep up the good work guys, in keeping the art and the origins of animation alive! It’s important that we move with the times and appreciate how technology advances and enables evolution, but also we understand how we got there!

  24. I do not even understand how I ended up right here, however I believed this submit used to be great. I don’t know who you are but certainly you are going to a famous blogger if you happen to are not already 😉 Cheers!

  25. I feel energyless on my feet Rebecca, and im experiencing sores on my gums and on the vagina though im taking treatment (Atroiza) appropriately. Does this mean the viral load is still going high and cd4 going down? Is this treatment really working for me and will my situation improve as time goes ?

  26. Adentrarse en el magico juego de David Garrett, las emociones surgen , el corazón reconoce, sumergidos en un mar tempestuoso, como en aquellas olas que regresan tranquilas , van y vienen despues de la tempesta. He recorrido un largo camino de amor por la Muscia, más convencidad, que no existe la musica en si misma, Si bien la musica Clásica es y será , la raiz …. David Garrett, ha tomado esas raices, las ha dejado crecer y su ramas se bifurcan, su frutos son el milagro de poder combinar de una forma causi insondable , la justa envotura que une lo Clásico con el resto de todas aquellas composiciones, melodias, que nostalgicamente, nos trasnporta a un nuevo Universo, Una nueva Raiz… un despertar glorioso, digno y significativo…. la recreación, el placer que tan sólo un cora′zon abierto, un alma en pie, un espiitu elvado, nos permite ser parte y artifice de su mundo. Su Musica es para todos , no existe edad, ni fronteras, ni ideologias…. Un viaje a su universo, no declina, nos lleva a navegar con él, dejandonos al finalizar en playas tranquilas, con las emociones empapadas de sus notas…. gracias !!!!

  27. My friend tested positive while she was pregnant n his bf tested negative,my freind says they did sex even if she was on her period,she doesn’t how she get infected and how his bf is negative while they do unprotected sex. please clarify

  28. Mark Foote, I can sit for an hr without any pain on my ankles or knees, but I just don’t find the value or point in practice anymore, especially in an organization.

  29. I started the Atroiza combination drug on the 9th of april. I have been just vomiting in the mornings but my doc said it might be not the treatment but the pregnancy.

  30. Yes I was on another treatement before but as soon as i realize my body was changing they changed my treatement and I have lost some fat on my knees and my arms but, I did not gain it on my breast or stomach either. I have lost weight since starting treatement in 2006…… is theresome hope for me to gain 5kg in good time? Started tribuss in november 2013. I appreciate your help so much keep up the good work

  31. As the mother to two teens, I can totally relate to this. Teens communicate is a different way….a way that we are not used to. I remember taking the family phone into my room when I was a teen. There was no privacy and always got in trouble for tying up the family phone line.

  32. Just found out that Im HIV positive last month and my cd4 is 292 doctor said I must start using the ARV and I had a miscargde in Feb so I did a papsmear results came back saying i have lites dots of cancer with infections but the doctor said the cancer can dissapear but its depending on my health Im scared to take the treatment will I be able to have kids again

  33. Hi Sindy. UK guidelines now say that it is okay to use efavirenz during pregnancy. The information that is given with the meds is out-of-date and should be revised. The safety data comes from a very large database where the drug has been safely used.

  34. Absolutely my new favorite mellow hip hop. I love this hip hop mash-up album concept. I had considred Max Tannone (Jaydiohead, Mos Dub) the king, but you have deposed him with this album.

  35. I dreamed that I was walking next to a beautiful, huge chestnut horse. As we were getting closer to the stables I saw a man hitting a horse, also a chestnut, the horse was on it’s hind legs trying to pull free. Then suddenly the horse lay down on it’s side. Blood was flowing from it’s side. I was shocked at what I saw and started running towards the stables, shouting at the man to stop and saw that there were 3 horse’s lying on their sides with blood streaming out the wounds. When I reached the horses I was relieved to see that they were stil alive and that I could still help them. Then I woke up.

  36. I regularly use Storyline to create interactive learning exercises for my Communication classes. My students find them very useful. I could contribute my current library and anything new that I develop also.

  37. I actually made these and thought I would share my experience for anyone else considering hazarding a try at this sinful treat. I followed the recipe pretty much exactly, with a 9×9 inch pan, no substitutions, and baked at 350,, but I baked them longer than called for. The first layer I left in about 15-17 minutes. It was still reeeaally liquidy after the 10-12 called for, so I gave them a few more minutes until it had firmed up a bit.

  38. Hey, I am sorry to hear about your recent diagnosis. This is never easy news to get, but is does get easier and you will be ok. You are in the same situation as lots of other people.

  39. One of the sickest mashup playlists I have ever fucking heard. Go-to album on my ipod for a year plus. Thank you for this, but to echo others, I WANT MORE!

  40. This is not a good idea, unless you normally sleep during the day and are awake at night. The recommendation is so that you are asleep when the drug levels are highest a few hours after taking Tribuss. If you take it during the day, you are likely to feel drowsy, dizzy and disorientated.

  41. Transit TV was one of those “let’s talk about it for with endless useless meetings and discussions about it at taxpayer expense for decades” which is what people wanted back in the 1980s, and just when they got finally to do it by the 2000s, the technology has moved to where people started having their own smartphones and entertainment devices.

  42. I had a dream that my boyfriend and I were getting ready for christmas lunch in a chalet on his mom’s farm. When I looked out of the window I saw a lion approach the chalet and so obviously I ran to shut all the doors and windows but they wouldn’t lock. The lion came into the chalet and somehow we got him out. And he wondered off but then came back and started circling the chalet, trying to get in. We tried to get out but the windows were either too high off the ground or there was a dense bush full of thorns so we couldn’t pass through it. I was panicking and asking my boyfriend to phone his parents to come help us but he wouldn’t, and then when I grabbed my phone the battery was dying so I had to put it on charge. When I was doing that another lion got into the chalet through a opening in the wall but we managed to scare him off. I had gathered all the knives I could find in the chalet for our protection. Non of the doors were locking and it was really worrying me. We looked out of the window and more and more male lions kepts appearing, there were about 10 walking towards the chalet before I woke up.

  43. hi,i actually want to ask u that my husband is hiv positive and he is using medicine now but i was not diagnosed +ve till 3 times i had test…now what ca i do am also affected???wel am really worrid and scared too wel now we have safe sex but before we didnt hav .we knew he had hiv after 1 and half yr marriage …wel he had nonpulmonary tv then he was diagnosed to have hiv…so should i check again or is it possible am not infected???wel i love him alot and dont wana lose him plz help me and if possible tel me if he can be cured forever…

  44. Thanks for your email. These symptoms are not side effects normally associated with Odimune. It’s important that you discuss these with a doctor incase they are a sign of another infection or illness.

  45. Hey, I am sorry to hear about your recent diagnosis. This is never easy news to get, but is does get easier and you will be ok. You are in the same situation as lots of other people.

  46. hi’my husband has been taking this medication for 3 months’the first month went well’he started complaining with headache the 2nd month’which was august’now he is lying in hospital having Meningitis’is he going to recover?

  47. I just started using RR again to check few things. Surprise to find that command line execute to View the session report in HTML didn’t work instead it just launched RR. Is the command RapidReporter.exe –tohtml still valid? or I lost the nag of using it.

  48. Greetings! I have installed the latest version of redline (Fantastic theme) I have been using the redline theme since ver 1.x It seems that you have removed the custom favicon. What is the current way to install a favicon?

  49. The only thing that will keep you healthy and your HIV under control are HIV meds. If you are having trouble with Atroiza you can ask at your clinic or doctor if there are other meds available.

  50. Hi Sindy. UK guidelines now say that it is okay to use efavirenz during pregnancy. The information that is given with the meds is out-of-date and should be revised. The safety data comes from a very large database where the drug has been safely used.

  51. I have just started with my treatment Atroiza on the 28 of may 2013. I take mine at night The first two days I felt numb and dizzy now I have a problem with sleeping, I would sleep for a few hours and find that 2-3hours I’m wide awake.

  52. Hahaha, I guess Metro finally wised up and dumped something that was so lame, cheap and cheesy. Even LAUSD telecommunications classes had better production values than Transit TV did!

  53. Absolutely my new favorite mellow hip hop. I love this hip hop mash-up album concept. I had considred Max Tannone (Jaydiohead, Mos Dub) the king, but you have deposed him with this album.

  54. Hey, I am sorry to hear about your recent diagnosis. This is never easy news to get, but is does get easier and you will be ok. You are in the same situation as lots of other people.

  55. I keep seeing coyotes either in the middle eb of the road staring at me or running across the road orout infields playing I am just wonderingif that has any meaning and I livein the city so its not like its common and I do not believe in coincedants

  56. My boyfriend first blood test was detected to have HIV 1 & 2 and now he had the confirmatory test for HIV. If he had HIV positive what medicine and treatment he has to take? And how many times he have to take it? I’m very lost I love him very much but I’m too afraid because my blood test is negative but will I in future will possibly get HIV positive? If he get treated with medicine and treatment how long can he live? I’m very worried I don’t wish to see him dead or anything happened.

  57. The safest way to reduce this risk is to use a condom. This protects against HIV and many other infections. If your girlfriend sometimes sleeps with her husband, it sound unlikely that you know whether her husband also sleeps with other people. You can only know about your own health by going for an HIV test yourself.

  58. I subcontract from Medicaid. I have a client that has had aids for 26 years. Him nd I are very close. He’s one of my best friends. His T cells are 100 I’m very worried . Is there anything we can do

  59. Me and my wife we have been together for almost five years now, and we have been blessed with a very beutifull daughter , but on 11december 2013 we went for a routine check as she is pregnant again for about seven month and she tested positive and I was negative and we never used protection , so what are my chances of being HIV+ after I repeat the test in three month time?

  60. Im 50, I found I had HIV , 3 years ago. I take my medication , exercise. Etc but my cd4 seems to have stuck at 144 , will the HIV become aids

  61. Hi Alyth, just watched your performance on the CMA Christmas show and loved it! You have the voice if an angel and the beauty of a model! I hope we get to see more of you here in the united states! Merry Christmas and a very happy New Year, Jim

  62. I don’t know if was dreaming it didn’t feel like a dream. I remember going to bed and waking up in cave. I slowly opened my eyes laying next a fire lighting the cave just a little light. Enough to I was in a cave I jump to my feet looking around for something I thought was lost or might of died. It was a weird wanton feeling. But there she was not dead not lost my wolf I hug her stroke her dead told her I missed. I stand up look out the cave opening into a dark forest I feel the night breeze on my face; and asked she if she if was ready (She was her name). she walks to my side and rubbed me I told her ” remember stay by side run with me.we begin to run I feel the forest a euphoric feeling fills my body. And im sitting up in my bed eyes wide open……. SAYING TO MYSELF MY WOLF SHE IS ALONE.

  63. “Why is all the Zen interaction on the web seemingly about how everyone else is wrong and an idiot and doesn?t get ?it? (just read the comments sections here and on sweeping zen for numerous examples)?”

  64. Hi. Unexplained weight loss, like other symptoms, is something to talk to your doctor about. This is in case it is a symptoms of something else and not a side effect of treatment.

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