LAKI-LAKI WAJIB BACA : Agar istrimu seindah bidadari syurga

tolongshare.com – Ada seorang lelaki berkata kepada seorang syekh:

“Dulu, sebelum menikah, aku melihat istriku begitu indah, tiada duanya di dunia ini. Ketika aku melamarnya, ternyata ada banyak wanita yang seindah dia. Ketika aku menikahinya, aku mulai merasa bahwa ada banyak wanita yang lebih cantik darinya. Sekarang, setelah hampir sepuluh tahun kami menikah, aku merasa bahwa semua wanita lebih menarik daripada istriku.”

muslimah.cover.viva.com

Syekh itu menjawab:

ﺃﻓﺄﺧﺒﺮﻙ ﺑﻤﺎ ﻫﻮ ﺃﺩﻫﻰ ﻣﻦ ﺫﻟﻚ ﻭﺃﻣﺮّ!؟

“Apakah engkau tahu, 

ada yang jauh lebih parah dari yang kau alami saat ini?”

“Tidak.”

“Seandainya, engkau menikahi seluruh wanita di dunia, tanpa terkecuali, maka engkau akan merasa bahwa anjing-anjing yang berkeliaran di jalan jauh lebih menarik bagimu daripada wanita manapun.”

Syekh itu melanjutkan:

ليس الأمر في عرسك ، وإنما هو في قلبك الطامع وبصرك الزائغ ، ولا يملأ عين ابن آدم الا التراب

“Masalah sesungguhnya bukan terletak pada istrimu, 

tapi terletak pada hati rakusmu dan mata keranjangmu. 

Mata manusia tidak akan pernah puas, 

kecuali jika sudah tertutup tanah.”

Lalu Syekh itu bertanya, 

“Apakah engkau ingin istrimu kembali seperti dulu, 

menjadi wanita terindah di dunia ini.”

“Iya Syekh,” jawab lelaki itu dengan perasaan tak menentu.

فاغضض ﺑﺼﺮﻙ ، فإن من ارتضى بحلاله رزق الكمال فيه

“Pejamkanlah matamu dari hal-hal yang haram… 

Ketahuilah, orang yang merasa cukup dengan suatu yang halal, 

maka dia akan diberi kenikmatan yang sempurna di dalam barang halal tersebut.

Firman Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala :

QS. An Nisa’ ayat 19-24

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُواْ لاَ يَحِلُّ لَكُمْ أَن تَرِثُواْ النِّسَاء كَرْهاً وَلاَ تَعْضُلُوهُنَّ لِتَذْهَبُواْ بِبَعْضِ مَا آتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ إِلاَّ أَن يَأْتِينَ بِفَاحِشَةٍ مُّبَيِّنَةٍ وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ فَإِن كَرِهْتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسَى أَن تَكْرَهُواْ شَيْئاً وَيَجْعَلَ اللّهُ فِيهِ خَيْراً كَثِيراً -١٩- وَإِنْ أَرَدتُّمُ اسْتِبْدَالَ زَوْجٍ مَّكَانَ زَوْجٍ وَآتَيْتُمْ إِحْدَاهُنَّ قِنطَاراً فَلاَ تَأْخُذُواْ مِنْهُ شَيْئاً أَتَأْخُذُونَهُ بُهْتَاناً وَإِثْماً مُّبِيناً -٢٠- وَكَيْفَ تَأْخُذُونَهُ وَقَدْ أَفْضَى بَعْضُكُمْ إِلَى بَعْضٍ وَأَخَذْنَ مِنكُم مِّيثَاقاً غَلِيظاً -٢١- وَلاَ تَنكِحُواْ مَا نَكَحَ آبَاؤُكُم مِّنَ النِّسَاء إِلاَّ مَا قَدْ سَلَفَ إِنَّهُ كَانَ فَاحِشَةً وَمَقْتاً وَسَاء سَبِيلاً -٢٢- حُرِّمَتْ عَلَيْكُمْ أُمَّهَاتُكُمْ وَبَنَاتُكُمْ وَأَخَوَاتُكُمْ وَعَمَّاتُكُمْ وَخَالاَتُكُمْ وَبَنَاتُ الأَخِ وَبَنَاتُ الأُخْتِ وَأُمَّهَاتُكُمُ اللاَّتِي أَرْضَعْنَكُمْ وَأَخَوَاتُكُم مِّنَ الرَّضَاعَةِ وَأُمَّهَاتُ نِسَآئِكُمْ وَرَبَائِبُكُمُ اللاَّتِي فِي حُجُورِكُم مِّن نِّسَآئِكُمُ اللاَّتِي دَخَلْتُم بِهِنَّ فَإِن لَّمْ تَكُونُواْ دَخَلْتُم بِهِنَّ فَلاَ جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ وَحَلاَئِلُ أَبْنَائِكُمُ الَّذِينَ مِنْ أَصْلاَبِكُمْ وَأَن تَجْمَعُواْ بَيْنَ الأُخْتَيْنِ إَلاَّ مَا قَدْ سَلَفَ إِنَّ اللّهَ كَانَ غَفُوراً رَّحِيماً -٢٣- وَالْمُحْصَنَاتُ مِنَ النِّسَاء إِلاَّ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ كِتَابَ اللّهِ عَلَيْكُمْ وَأُحِلَّ لَكُم مَّا وَرَاء ذَلِكُمْ أَن تَبْتَغُواْ بِأَمْوَالِكُم مُّحْصِنِينَ غَيْرَ مُسَافِحِينَ فَمَا اسْتَمْتَعْتُم بِهِ مِنْهُنَّ فَآتُوهُنَّ أُجُورَهُنَّ فَرِيضَةً وَلاَ جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ فِيمَا تَرَاضَيْتُم بِهِ مِن بَعْدِ الْفَرِيضَةِ إِنَّ اللّهَ كَانَ عَلِيماً حَكِيماً -٢٤-19)

Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! 

Tidak halal bagi kamu mewarisi perempuan dengan jalan paksa, 

dan janganlah kamu menyusahkan mereka karena hendak mengambil kembali sebagian dari apa yang telah kamu berikan kepadanya, 

kecuali apabila mereka melakukan perbuatan keji yang nyata. 

Dan bergaullah dengan mereka menurut cara yang patut. 

Jika kamu tidak menyukai mereka, (maka bersabarlah) karena boleh jadi kamu tidak menyukai sesuatu, padahal Allah Menjadikan kebaikan yang banyak padanya.

Hadits Nabi Shallallahu `alaihi Wa Sallam :

“Orang yang imannya paling sempurna diantara kaum mukminin adalah orang yang paling bagus akhlaknya di antara mereka, dan sebaik-baik kalian adalah yang terbaik akhlaknya terhadap istrinya” 

(HR Tirmidzi)

تُنْكَحُ الْمَرْأَةُ لأَرْبَعٍ لِمَالِهَا وَلِحَسَبِهَا وَلِجَمَالِهَا وَلِدِينِهَا فَاظْفَرْ بِذَاتِ الدِّينِ تَرِبَتْ يَدَاكَ “

Biasanya, seorang wanita dinikahi kerana empat perkara: 

harta kekayaannya, kedudukannya, kecantikannya, dan agamanya. 

Maka, hendaknya engkau lebih memilih wanita yang beragama,

niscaya engkau beruntung.” 

(Muttafaqun ‘alaihi)

Al-Qurthubi menjelaskan makna hadis ini dengan berkata, 

“Empat perkara inilah yang biasanya mendorong seorang lelaki untuk menikahi seorang wanita. 

Dengan demikian, hadis ini bertepatan dengan apa yang terjadi di masyarakat, dan bukan perintah untuk menjadikannya sebagai pertimbangan. Secara tekstual pun, hadis ini menunjukkan bahawa dibolehkan menikahi seorang wanita dengan keempat perkara itu. 

Akan tetapi, hendaknya pertimbangan agama lebih didahulukan.”

Keterangan al-Qurthubi ini sama maksud dengan hadis yang diriwayatkan oleh sahabat Abdullah bin Amr al-’Ash Radhiallahu anhu, “

Nabi Shallallahu `alaihi Wa Sallam bersabda,

لاَ تَزَوَّجُوا النِّسَاءَ لِحُسْنِهِنَّ فَعَسَى حُسْنُهُنَّ أَنْ يُرْدِيَهُنَّ وَلاَ تَزَوَّجُوهُنَّ لِأَمْوَالِهِنَّ فَعَسَى أَمْوَالُهُنَّ أَنْ تُطْغِيَهُنَّ وَلَكِنْ تَزَوَّجُوهُنَّ عَلَى الدِّينِ وَلَأَمَةٌ خَرْمَاءُ سَوْدَاءُ ذَاتُ دِينٍ أَفْضَلُ ‘

Janganlah engkau menikahi wanita hanya karena kecantikan parasnya, karena boleh saja parasnya yang cantik menjadikannya sengsara. 

Jangan pula engkau menikahinya kerana harta kekayaannya, 

karena boleh saja harta kekayaan yang ia miliki menjadikan lupa daratan. Akan tetapi, hendaklah engkau menikahinya kerana agamanya. 

Sungguh, seorang budak wanita berhidung pesek dan berkulit hitam, 

tetapi ia patuh beragama, lebih utama dibanding mereka semua.’” 

(Hr. Ibnu Majah)

I N G A T……..

Istrimu..

BUKAN BIDADARI….

dan kamu…… 

BUKAN MALAIKAT…

istrimu ? 

SAMA dengan dirimu…

Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala menciptakan dia dari dirimu, 

dari tulang rusukmu yang paling atas.

ingatlah bagaimana Nabi Shallallahu `alaihi Wa Sallam 

bercerita tentang dia…

“dia dari tulang rusuk yang bengkok, 

jika engkau paksakan untuk lurus.. maka patahlah tulang rusuk itu. 

Dan jika engkau diamkan… maka seperti itulah adanya… tetap bengkok. 

Maka berwasiatlah kepada wanita…”

Tapi…

jangan selalu melihat tulang rusuk dari atas…

bercerminlah, dan lihat…

engkau akan menemukannya dalam keadaan lurus… 

dari sisi depan, tulang rusuk akan terlihat lurus…

seperti hanya tulang rusuk, 

begitu pula seharusnya suami melihat istrinya…

lihatlah ia dari sudut yang berbeda…

jangan selalu melihat kesalahannya… 

lihatlah kebaikannya… 

lihat pula pengorbanannya…

bukankah Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala telah menetapkan bagi mu… dirinya, 

supaya kamu merasa tenang di sisinya?

jika istrimu memiliki perilaku yang buruk ….

maka sadarilah…

istri itu sesuai, selevel, sekaliber, sekualitas dengan suaminya…

bukankah Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala berfirman bahwa 

laki-laki baik-baik adalah untuk wanita yang baik?

dan laki-laki yang buruk untuk wanita yang buruk.?

jika istrimu melakukan kesalahan ….

ingat-ingat lagi cerita Nabi Shallallahu `alaihi Wa Sallam, 

wanita itu dari tulang rusuk yang bengkok…

jangan paksa ia lurus, 

tapi jangan pula didiamkan…

seolah Nabi Shallallahu `alaihi Wa Sallam ingin berpesan…

tidak akan seorang suami hidup tenang bersama istrinya..

tidak akan tercapai sakinah, mawaddah, warohmah dalam rumah tangga..kecuali dibangun di atas dua hal..

sabar dan selalu memberi nasehat…

maka bersabarlah dan berilah istrimu nasehat…

jika istrimu melakukan kelalaian…

maka renungilah…

istrimu bekerja dua puluh empat jam sehari…

istrimu bangun lebih dulu dari engkau bangun…

dia tidur setelah suaminya tidur…

andai satu hari itu ada dua puluh lima jam… 

maka ia akan bekerja dua puluh lima jam sehari ….

dia mengandung buah hatimu… 

sembilan bulan… lemah di atas kelemahan

lalu ia menyapihnya… dua tahun dengan kesabaran…

menyuapkan makan dan minum dengan tangannya…

mengasuhnya.. dengan kelembutan…

mengajarkan segalanya… dengan penuh perjuangan…

ia yang mencuci bajumu…

dia yang menjaga hartamu…

mengambilkan segelas air untukmu…

yang selalu tersenyum menyambutmu… 

meski mungkin dia lebih lelah darimu…

karena istrimu itu bukan bidadari…

JIKA INGIN ISTRIMU SEPERTI BIDADARI…

JADILAH ENGKAU SEPERTI MALAIKAT

Sumber media.islami.com

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